Can iPad My Bottom Line With This?

I’ve been thinking about the iPad … a lot … in the past 24 hours, and I can’t decide whether I need one or just want one to whip out in public and impress people.

Seriously. That may be all there is to it.

What’s it for?

Well, let’s talk about what it’s not for.

It’s not a Kindle Killer. I’m pretty sure of that. (Nor was this. Or this. Or this. Please folks, is Kindle ready to be killed already?)

Yes, iPad has a color screen. Yes, you can read Amazon e-books on it. Yes, it looks cool. But, while Apple has boosted battery perfomance to a remarkable 10 hours for the iPad, that pales in comparison with the Kindle’s ability to stay up and running for days at a time between recharges. It’s only a matter of time before a full-color Kindle comes out.

And Apple lately has a thing for glossy screens. Maybe most people don’t care, but there’s a vocal minority out there that prefer matte screens for reading. A matte-screened iPad might pose some real competition to the Kindle. We may be a long way away from that, however, unless one of those yet-to-be-launched upper-end models has a matte screen. But it takes Apple a while to recognize its missteps. Remember that Apple kept its little round iMac mouse on the market for far too long. Long enough for someone to make a bunch of money selling plastic mouse elongators.

(It’s worth noting, however, that Bezos & Co. clearly took a lesson on product design from Apple, subsuming the device’s functions into the overall user experience (in this case, that experience is called “reading,” not “using an electronic device to read a book.” If only another local tech giant can learn the same lesson…)

So it’s not an e-reader.

I’m not so sure it’s a news reader, despite what the esteemed Bill Richards thinks about it. Yes, it’s now possible to read the New York Times in all its broadsheet glory on the device (well, 9.7 diagonal inches of glory), as opposed to the tiny iPhone screens we were reading it on earlier. Or … the 24-inch matte flat-screen monitors we have at home or at work, where we do most of our online reading. The iPad won’t save newspapers. It’s simply another internet device that newspapers will have to figure out how to use to generate revenues, just like the iPhone, Twitter, this whole internet thing….

Let’s look at the other functions. For an additional $130, you can add 3G wireless capability to it, turning it into a very large and unwieldy iPhone. Except… it doesn’t support voice calling. Maybe the data plan will make remote web surfing easier than just having to rely on wi-fi. Because one thing this device also doesn’t have is an Ethernet port to plug into a nearby cable or DSL modem. (And let’s not talk about AT&T’s wireless coverage right now; a Verizon Wireless plan might have sealed the deal for this for many potential customers).

In other words, it’s pretty exclusively a wireless-data-only device. If your wireless service is spotty, it might not be for you. Or, in the case of the Apple fanboys, they can stick with the iPhone and not lose anything into the bargain.

Wireless-only, glossy display… we’re talking road warriors now. I suppose if I were constantly on the road, writing from distant locales, filing stories (or reports, or expense forms), I would find it useful in certain aspects. An almost-full-size keyboard display comes up. But it’s probably still a little small for any but the most lithe-fingered typists among us. We all get Fat Finger Syndrome on the iPhone or similar devices (which often yields humorous results when Apple’s spell-checker “corrects” the mistakes into something else). But when you can buy an iPad Keyboard Dock and actually have the tactile sensation of clicking keys… well, that’s just like my laptop, and I’ve already got one of those.

So I don’t think this is a device for writing. And until handwriting-recognition software is built in, it’s not so good for note-taking on the run, either. There’s that keyboard issue again.

Gaming? It’s not an Xbox, let alone a PC. While I’m sure Apple’s proprietary A4 chip is powerful to support a lot of power, that would cut into the 10-hour battery life. And I think iPad games will mostly be iPhone games writ large. An improvement over the iPhone, yes, but not an ideal gaming platform. And shaking or otherwise moving around to play an accelerometer-based game on an iPhone in coach class is going to still be a lot easier than doing so with an iPad.

I’m left with business travelers (who don’t need to write much but need connectivity) and casual travelers.

Casual travelers might be interested in a built-in camera. Which the iPad doesn’t have. Which rules out much Skype calling as well, since, while you can use audio only on Skype calls, video is kind of the whole point. The iPad has cool photo-sorting ability, but that’s a software feature that I suspect will soon show up on other Apple devices.

And business travelers… well, I don’t see Office running on this anytime soon. And business travelers usually have the company buy the equipment for them. And corporate bean-counters would prefer giving you a $120 netbook than a $500 … whatever it is.

For general web surfing, the iPad I probably pretty neat. Except it doesn’t support Flash, which precludes a lot of internet video (pre-installed YouTube channel notwithstanding).

My guess here is that iPad will not be a huge bonanza for Apple. If someone already has an iPhone and a laptop (Mac or PC), there not much beyond the cool factor that is calling out “buy me!” I suspect Apple will see a modest bump up in sales through its App Store, and maybe even the iTunes Store as well (stereo speakers/headset not included). The iPad may even eventually be profitable for Apple.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a product with a dedicated market outside of the most ardent fanboys. It seems too much like a kitchen sink product, a mash-up between the iPhone and a MacBook, but lacking features that those other products carry, and including several new bells and whistles that, while neat, probably won’t stay exclusive to the iPad for long.

Some people who are not Steve Jobs will surely love it, and iPad is, for sure, a work of art that only a vertically-integrated company like Apple could make. I may eventually spring for one myself. It’ll look cool, and it’ll be good for public iPosturing. But one thing it is not is a revolution in computing, mobile or otherwise. Maybe next time.