The Olympianati

Number One: The meeting of Project End Run is now called to order. Thanks for coming.

Number Two: Lets get plotting.

Number One: Right. I have to say, this is going to be tough.

Number Two: I think youre being pessimistic, Number One. We kept both houses of the legislature.

Number Three: I agree with the gov… uh, Number One on this. Were already $5.7 billion in the hole, and thats being generous.

Number One: Everyones looking for cuts that wont hit their pet projects. The next supplemental is just one Eyman initiative away.

Number Two: Weve taken care of him.

Number One: Really? You overturned I-1053 already?

Number Two: Votes are locked up. Even the Republicans hate him.

(A knock at the door. A flunky enters.)

Number One: I said we werent to be disturbed!

Flunky: Im sorry, maam, but Tim Eyman is here. Hes upstairs. In a gorilla suit.

Number One: (Sighs) Tell him to … oh, hell. Get him on the calendar for whenever my next junket to Asia is.

(The flunky exits.)

Number Three: No one is supposed to know were here.

Number Two: Whatever. Back to business: We need cash, and pronto.

Number One: Yeah, right. Where?

Number Two: Sales tax.

Number One: Dont even start, Frank.

Number Three: I wont go to the mat for that. Tuition hikes? I hear the GOPs going to disembowel Race to the Top in D.C.

Number One: The UW is already too expensive for most families, Lisa.

Number Three: Use the code!

Number One: Sorry, Three. Lets put the income tax back on the table. Soak the rich for good this time.

Number Two: Now whos talking non-starter? I say more bridge tolls. Not just 520. I-90, Hood Canal, Montlake, South Park … We got the tunnel done over His Mayoral Beardness protests. This should be easy.

Number One: Too visible. Thats just asking to get Tea Partied. Or Dinoed.

Number Three: Social services is the logical choice. Weve only cut them 1.66 percent.

Number One: The unions will string me up. And we now call it Protecting Health and Vulnerable People. To prevent cuts.

(A knock, and the flunky enters.)

Number One: Now what?

Flunky: John Fox is here. Something about boosting low-income housing?

Number Two: How the hell did he find us?

Number One: Tell him Im in China.

(The flunky leaves.)

Number Three: Whats left?

Number Two: Closing parks.

Number One: We still have parks?

Number Three: Only $120 million on that line item. Wont get us very far.

Number Two: What about overhead? Sorry, I mean Effective Government.

Number One: We cut it 9 percent in the last supplemental, more than anything else. The unions are so up in arms theyre forming their own opposition party.

Number Two: But the Republicans wont shut up about trimming the fat no matter what. At least you can show them youre serious. Can we take off these cloaks already?

(A knock.)

All: WHAT?

(The flunky enters.)

Flunky: Dino Rossi is here to see you, maam, in a T-shirt that says, Is it 2012 yet?

Number One: (Sighs) Just get rid of him!

Flunky: Where should I send him?

Number Two: Texas is nice.

Number One: Or what do you think? Should we let him in? Share the blame?

(A pause.)

All: Nah. (They laugh evilly).