CEO Adviser: Table manners

Did you know women leave more than $500,000 on the table during the course of their careers? Or that mens median retirement funds average in excess of $10,000 more than womens? If women are the bargain hunters and bill payers, why is this disparity happening? Its happening because women fail to negotiate.

A recent study by CareerBuilder suggests there is often more salary available for people who negotiate. In fact, 45 percent of employers said they are willing to negotiate salaries for initial job offers and that women are more apt than men to leave money on the table.

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit Seattle and Tacoma to discuss how women can build confidence, leadership and negotiation skills. Here are some of the surprising truths they discovered about how women can play to their strengths.

Negotiating Just as Well, Just Not as Often

Its easy to assume that men are better negotiators. But thats not the case; women are just as good at negotiating. They just dont do it often enough.

One of the biggest issues women face is their reticence to begin negotiating! When we are offered a salary or price, we simply accept it rather than entering into a conversation about lowering a cost or upping our pay.

Men and women bring different advantages and weaknesses to negotiating. The advantages should never be underestimated and the weaknesses can be overcome with practice. In our sessions at KeyBanks Key4Women forums, it was gratifying to watch the light come on as our role-play situations highlighted common mistakes women make when negotiating.

I find the most important weakness women need to overcome is a natural tendency to undervalue themselves. They dont feel they are ready for, or worth, raises and promotions.

Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever in their book, Women Dont Ask, discuss how differently men and women view their worth. Men tend to believe they should be promoted and paid based on their potential. In other words, if they have some experience and the gusto to work hard, they readily take on stretch assignments and ask to be paid well for it. Women, on the other hand, often feel they should be promoted and paid based on their already proven capabilities. We believe we must be totally prepared before even approaching an opportunity. If a job posting lists an MBA as a requirement, women wont apply if they havent finished their degrees. Men will lean on their strengths and ask to be considered even though they wont be graduating until next year. That courage often lands them the job.

Negotiating with Artitude

When women overcome that natural tendency, they win. A great example is my client Andrea Heuston, who owns Artitudes Design, a full-service design firm in Issaquah. A few years ago, a major client of hers asked all its service providers to cut their rates across the board. This client represented a major source of revenue for Artitudes, and cutting rates to the proposed degree meant Andrea would have to lay off staff. Unwilling to blindly accept the terms, Andrea asked for a smaller percentage reduction. She negotiated a rate that allowed her to keep her team intact and ensure continued quality service, while still allowing the client to lower expenses. Since then, she has reinstated her original rates by negotiating percentage increases each year. Her experience illustrates how negotiation can lead to a mutually agreeable solution when the initial offer is used to open discussion.

Building on Your Advantages

Women do bring a number of advantages to negotiation that they should capitalize on. Notably, women ask questions. Our ability to engage people in conversation and our curiosity about what others need leads to better negotiation results. By being open, inquisitive and able to create strong relationships, we learn about these needs, which allow us to come up with creative solutions.

There is no doubt that women can win at the negotiating game they just have to play!

Karen Hough is founder and CEO of Ohio-based ImprovEdge LLC and author of The Improvisation Edge: Secrets to Building Trust and Radical Collaboration at Work.